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Brutal with guaranteed success

In the rectal method, one first spreads out a kitchen towel on a stable flat surface. One then hammers the oyster in such a manner on the towel that one can hold it firmly down – with the lid facing upwards so that the hinge stays visible and accessible. After that one pierces the knife as smoothly as possible about 1 cm deep into the oyster and levers the blade until the hinge breaks. Thereafter one moves the knife upwards until the sphincter, located in the front right half of the muscle, tears.

The advantage of this method is that one can open also those oysters that have no weak spot on the right flank – and, what's more, one avoids the rather tiresome and ugly splintering of the shell caused in the first method. But this method calls for a lot more force – plus, there's the risk of the lid collapsing during the levering process.

More about the travel adventures of Secret Agent Hektor Maille:

• Episode 19: With the Oyster Fork Through Paris
• Startpage of «Mission Kaki» (with overview map)
• More Recipes of the Secret Agent

There are various ways in which oysters can be prepared. They taste best when they are eaten raw, without even a dash of lemon juice – particularly when they are not simply swallowed, but chewed a bit. This gives one a taste of the various maritime aromas emerging from within their depths. We are, therefore, providing no oyster recipe here, but merely a brief guide to how oysters can be opened. It includes two methods plus one test for freshness:

• Lateral method (soft, but not always successful)
• Rectal method (brutal, with guaranteed success)
• Freshness test (so that the pleasure may last)

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